you were never a waste of my time

It's been a while since I posted... Things are strange with us now and I'm not really sure of how to feel (something new ha!)
I feel that we have found a level playing field almost... we are friends again, without the benefits this time. We talk a lot more, still dont hang out, but I feel closer to him even though we are not romantically attached..

even though we probably never will be romantically attached..

EVER

But I can see that this is the way things have to be.

You are now, and always will be a part of my life. And as time goes on, as I move on, I forgive you. I know that is who you are, a complicated and intriguing person. Yes you have your problems, and foten I think that you may be just as much a mess as what I am.

I cannot hold it against you, this is who you are.

Maybe we were meant to be together, maybe we were never meant to meet at all... And I can do all that I can to try and keep away from you, but fate seems stronger than my own resistance, and my past YOU inevitably end up back in my life.

I will fight you no longer, amd embrace the possibility of being your friend. because I truly believe that despite the pain youve put me through in the past, you are someone that I need to have in my life. Despite how much I complain, no matter how many times you made me cry (most you dont know about) I am a stronger person for knowing you. I am a better person for knowing you.

If you were to ever read this I hope that you take with you the depth of emotion projected by someone you once couldn't get out of your mind. And know that things could have been so different if only you had opened your heart a little wider. Just know that I think of you from time to time, and mostly... I smile.

I hope that one day you can smile too.

no regrets